Kelsey Bakes Cookies

Guess what - I had a baking win! That is right folks, I actually did not fail in the kitchen last week-weeeee. Of course, I kind of sort of cheated-I made cake batter cookies. It is kind of hard to mess up when all you do is buy the cake batter (which has all the correct proportions of baking soda AND baking powder) and add eggs and oil.

Step one-buy FUNFETTI cake batter and mix ingredients

Step two- grease cookie sheets

Step three-read in directions to NOT grease cookie sheets, then grab paper towels and wipe down previously greased cookie sheets

Notice that this paper towel indicates just how much baking I do in my house!

Step four- clean-with soap and water-previously greased down cookie sheets

Step five-read in directions to make 1/2 inch balls of dough. Think to self, how does one measure inches in a sphere, then attempt - * it is crucial that you indent dough with thumb, because it is fun and because you don't have the flour the box called for so at the end you get to eat left over cookie dough all over your fingers! **please note, calories obviously don't count on any left over cookie dough

Step six- frost yummy cookies with rainbow chip frosting. Behold the greatness:

Step seven-force cookies onto co-workers, friends, husband's friends, etc and watch them as they eat the cookies so they have to tell you they are the best cookies they have ever had.

7 simple steps to a baking win.

In other news-I have 4 whole followers on my blog!! That is almost one hands worth of fingers! -and yes, you don't have to point out that one of them happens to be my husband, he still counts!

Things To Do Before I Move

This post brought to you by-my beautiful new apartment!

Old apartment:

Why Old apartment sucks:

- GIANT kitchen in center of floor plan. I have nothing against giant kitchens, mind you, but giant kitchens in small apartment = 4 whole people and fit in your little living room.

-Separated living/dining areas. When giant kitchen is in between small living area and dining area it feels like EVEN LESS THAN 4 people fit in your apartment. This is sad when you like people :)

-Teeennnyyyy tiiinnnnnyyyy deck. Seriously, I can fit like 1 whole chair out there. Oh, and we look out onto a lovely garbage bin. Beautiful.

-Many other things.....

NEW APARTMENT:

Why New apartment = years of happiness:

-Note, the fantastically appropriate size kitchen in the upper left hand corner.

-Note, the fabulously connected living/dining space. I envision 100ish people fitting comfortably in that living space. Party time.

-Big Giant Deck. Need I say more.

-Floor plan from heaven.

-Oh! and! we get an attached garage, AND our deck looks over the pool! two super awesome bonuses for us.

So now I have to start on projects. Projects I have been putting off since we moved here. Projects I would rather blog about then actually start on.

Project #-1- Sad Pantry

This is bad. I know. I hate it. Yet, I do nothing about it, I continue to throw everything I buy into my pantry without even a second thought. It has a door, so I just shut it and it is like I don't have any problems! To the right, is the upper part of my pantry, so that top shelf is like 8ft high! How does one even use a shelf that high effectively! Also note, I did at one point in the past 8 months THINK about organizing this space. Proof is in those small selfy things in the back of the middle shelf. You may or may not be able to see them for there is about a trillion things in the way. Will update yal'll on the things growing in here when I get to it. Sorry for the eye sore folks :)

Project #2-Scary Spare Bedroom/Office

This picture is blurry like in those scary movies where someone is going to jump out of the closet. This is how I feel every time I walk into this room. Mini projects to note: pile o mail on the ground on the left, sell and/or throw away giant ugly lamp, there was no space in my 4 person living room for that coffee table...so it just sits in the room collecting Mr. Z's study material. He is this room more than me, so I am going to totally blame all the judgement this picture will bring onto my housewifeness on him.

Other projects: our closet and our bedroom. Things that would bring so much judgement upon me that I wouldn't dare posting "before" pictures on here...but I will gladly post all my "after" pictures for all your praises at another time.

Right now, however, I don't have time for these things because the laundry is calling my name and my poor husband hasn't had a meal since lunch ya'll! How could I make him wait all the way until dinner to eat again ? :)

Birthday Post! Birthday Post!

Saturday was a glorious day, a day everyone celebrated as the day of my birth. It all started with Mr. Z squinting at me from across the bed, "What would you like for breakfast Birthday Girl?" The answer to this particular question will always be the same, always. I choose pancakes because pancakes are, in my opinion, fluffy carbolicious pieces of heaven. "Pancakes!", I scream as I grab for my computer. I google "home made pancakes" and skim through the first recipe I find,

"Dad's Homemade Pancakes." As I peruse through the ingredients I think, "I can totally make that work...." My, wasn't I adorable.

Dad's Homemade Pancakes called for:

I had:

1 c. flour

1 c. flour-Doing good so far!

1 tbsp. baking powder

Ummm I have baking soda
1/2 tsp. baking soda

baking soda and baking powder are totally like the
same thing....it should be fine.....

2 tbsp. vegetable oil

This looks like vegetable oil. It says, "Smart Balance: a mix of olive oil and canola oil." That totally works!

3 tbsp. sugar

No sugar to be found in this house. Solution: open all the splenda packs we have! We can get 3 tbsp. EASY

1 c. milk

1 c. milk-yes! I totally have this!

1 egg

Also this!

1/2 tsp. salt

and this!

Despite my lack of actual ingredients, I was confident that because it was my day of BIRTH, kitchen karma was totally on my side and I was going to have the delicious fluffy carb coma I desired. Mix, mix, mix and behold!

Kelsey's homemade pancakes:

I know, I know those are. not. pancakes. Maybe, I will just give these mess ups to Mr. Z. I will try again....

Wow...wow. Well, maybe! maybe they will taste amazing! And it won't even matter! I will just put this weird seacreatureesk looking thing into my mouth and BLLLLAAAAAHHHH. iiiccckkk. Sad face.

Epic pancake fail.

But don't worry, because even though kitchen karma was against me, the amazingness of my husband and his SECRET PARTY PLANNING SKILLZ were totally on my side! He planned a whole party at the bowling alley with all of my amazing friends. Sneaky ya'll, very sneaky! I don't know what was the best gift- my awesome princess attire, people telling me that they have read/loved/CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF (okay maybe I am putting words in everyone's mouth!) my blog, or the amazing blog inspired cook books, utensils and slap chop contraptions!

Thank you to all you lovely people who made me feel like a special pretty pretty princess of the bowling alley and the kitchen on my birthday!

Epic Battle

Every morning it comes down to me vs. my spatula which has assumed its position: DEATH GRIP on the left over egg bits. This battle is no match for a mere scrub brush, no! My spatula spits in the face of my scrub brush. The only worthy competitor thus far is a dirty, already in the dishwasher, have to pull it out again for battle, steak knife (OF DEATH). Oh, this battle is an ugly one, I would never wish it upon any of you. Egg bits flying all over the sink, battle scars (or scrape marks, however you want to call it) all over my spatula inflicted by the steak knife/KNIGHT. But in the end, only one can win-Sir knifesalot for the win!

Seriously people, is there such thing as NON STICK spatulas!?!?

********

On another, unrelated note, I think I might have done something horrible tonight. I don't know these things, but my guess it it is pretty much a violation of all things good and holy in the housewife handbook. Okay so, I may or may not have washed Mr.Z's DRY CLEAN ONLY suit pants with a load of laundry tonight. Unknowingly, I promise! They are hanging up now (because I assume DRY CLEAN ONLY means I can't put them in the dryer)...but I am half way afraid they are going burst into flames. I don't know what the penally for such a violation is!

My husband, the sweetheart that he is, promises me it will all be okay. But, he doesn't even own a housewife handbook so what does he know-psh!

Crock pot Craziness

Here's the thing : I don't know things. By things I mean basic kitcheny, crafty, martha stewarty, foody, "things I learned from my mama" knowledge is not my strength. I attempt much, fail often and have the occasional domestic freak out.

Exhibit A-Lester, the WHOLE CHICKEN crock pot dinner for tomorrow

First, I named him because while I was cleaning him in the sink it was like holding a pound o' child. So, he deserved a name.

Challenge number 1-Onions!

Freakin onions. I don't know how to cut and/or chop onions. Like at all. Tonight, my recipe called for one chopped onion. Normal is knowing this task has to be done with care, because onions will cause a few tears. One chopped onion for me meant-one chopped onion and 4 "OMG(osh) my eyes are going to burn out of my face!" sessions. I don't think this is normal.

Challenge number 2 (and unfortunately, this happens ALL.THE.TIME.)-it's not in the recipe...what do I do!

Occasionally, I like to think I am domesticated enough to wander from the recipe (*gasp*). However, whenever I do this the natural result is to have at least one mini freak out because I don't actually know what I am doing! The recipe tonight was a basic chicken spice rub. I also happen to have a ton of left over carrots from a Costco size veggie tray I bought for a bbq of 4 whole people....yea...i know.... Anyway, my brilliant idea was to use massive amounts of left over carrots in said Lester dish. Thus, my resulting mini freak out: I don't know if these carrots are going to last the 8-10 hours of straight up roasting. Do I leave the carrots in trusting they will turn out similar to yummy roast-ish carrots? What if they melt into mushy gushy grossness? What if they ruin my dinner!? AAHHHH.

Here's to adventuring!