I have come so far....or ... have I?
So anyway, it was my birthday and my mom came out to visit me for a few days. I tried desperately to be ready for her. I had lists people! House cleaning lists, grocery lists, activity lists and a list of new recipes to try! Then, life happened. And by the time it was practically game time (night before my mom arrived) my lists had turned into something more like What Are The Absolute Bare Minimum Items I Need to Accomplish In Order To Trick My Houseguest Into Thinking I Was Totally 100% Prepared For Her Arrival List. So here is what happened
Day 1-I still had to work this day so my mom was left to bask in the Arizona sun. Rough life I know. As I was
Houseguest-1 Host-0.
Day 2- I was showering and getting ready for our fun packed day of....well....that activity list wasn't exactly complete, so we didn't have much of a plan. Anyways, I was getting ready. Since we are amazing puppy parents we have trained Charlie to sit/lay nicely on our bed as we get ready. It is awesome. But this particular day I put him on the bed as per usual and when I got out of the shower he wasn't on the bed. Our door was shut so there was only so many places he could have been. I start calling for him and I hear his little collar jingling under the bed. So, towel and all, I get down to look under the bed. I see no puppy. I hear puppy but I see no puppy. It takes me a minute to realize that my puppy had created a hole UNDERNEATH OUR BOX SPRING MATTRESS and is UP IN the box spring ... just hanging out. The puppy mom in me starts freaking out. Still in my towel mind you I come running out of my bedroom, "OMG, MOOOOMMM he is STUCK in the mattress..bbbblllaaaa what do I do!" I of course though he was suffocating or something in there. He is going to ddddiiiiieeeeee. My mom is like,"Oh, this is no big deal, he totally did this yesterday. All you do is like maneuver him out...like this!" She gets down on all fours, crawls under my bed and practically climbs up into my BOX SPRING to get Charlie out. "See, he is fine!"
ughh.
Houseguest-2 Host-0.
Day 3- Remember when I told you I had a list of new recipes! This is something I actually accomplished...kind of! yay! New recipe of the day-Taco Pizza. Had I been really domestic, I would have fixed up homemade whole wheat pizza dough. Instead, I bought Pillsbury pizza dough in a tube! Healthy I know. On the tube it told me to flatten out the dough. Simple enough. So I start kneading and pressing and pushing and shoving and violently pounding and WHY WON'T YOU FLATTEN. WHIIIINNNE. I could not get it to flatten out! I would push and press and it would flatten then slowly and slyly unflatten. Argh. What do I have in my kitchen drawer o' greatness to solve this. Then natural answer would be a rolling pin.
I don't have a rolling pin...hmmmmm....what is this!? A meat tenderizer. Perfect.
So move into a corner of the kitchen where no one can see me and I start POUNDING AWAY. My mom notices right away. "What are you doing!"She said laughing. "Here let me handle this part". And voila-pizza pie!
Houseguest-3 Host-0.
Wait. It was delightful and I made it!.....Houseguest-3 Host- 1/2.
However, I did get one full point during the weekend. I promised my mom I wouldn't post this so don't tell her. Ever since I started volunteering with Wyldlife (see this post Wyldlife! ), I have picked up a number of phrases that middle schoolers frequently say. I never realized it was a foreign language until this. Or that I was turning into one of them. One such phrase, "Oooohhhhhh snap!" Translation-daaaaannng chica, or in your face, or I am totally awesome.
We were driving in the car and my mom quizzically asks me, "What does snap mean?" I was confused for a moment then she said, "Ever since I arrived you have been saying, 'Oh snap.'" All I could do was laugh and tell her she would have to be 12 and totally awesome to understand. Obviously.
Don't worry mom the final score is still Houseguest-3 Host- 1 and 1/2.
You rock.
