Happy Heart Day

Guess who's back?  Back again. Adventures are back. Tell a friend.

I won't get into the boring details of where I have been for the past 23098423094 months. Apparently I need to work on my consistency. Or something.

 Here is what has been going on in my world!

A Valentine's themed story. I have a Bible study that meets weekly. Each week we potluck enough food to feed all the families. It is good times for all. I don't plan the meals I just sign up for stuff. And don't tell anyone, but sometimes I just sign up for stuff that is easy for this lil' housewife. If is a choice between making some sort of fabulous dish and buying that same "fabulous" dish at the store, guess which one I choose? But every once in a while the wonderful woman who creates all the menus likes to spice it up and theme our dinners. Last week was Valentine's Day themed. Themed dinners do one of two things for me. 1) I have some extra time on my hands and therefore get excited to start planning for and making something theme wonderful! or 2) I get totally stressed out and it is all I think about and I can't stop until I figure something amazing out and I fall flat on my face. Last week was that for me.  In my brilliance, I decided that if I could buy a heart-shaped cookie cutter I could fake my adorable housewifeyness by making cheese quesadillas and have them be heart-shaped! Yay LOVE!

Problem #1. Heart-Shaped Cookie Cutter.
I don't know why it was ridiculously impossible for me to find a heart-shaped cookie cutter one week before Valentine's Day. My whole plan was riding on this ONE thing. But after searching at two or three different stores, including Target of all places, I had to compromise with one of those weird plastic containers where the two pieces fit together, thinking it would have to be the next best thing.   After next Tuesday, all of the retailers will have an evil laugh as they bring everything heart-shaped out of hiding, including that stupid cookie cutter, and try and mask their evilness with a half off sale sign. Jerks. 

Problem #2. Size.
So, I bought these giant tortillas and a whole bunch of cheese. My thought was that the medium sizeish weird plasticy kind of heart-shaped cookie cutter I bought could easily get 3-4 fun heart-shaped quesadillas out of each of the tortillas. This idea was "no bueno" once I attempted my first one. I quickly learned that I could only really get approximately 1.75 heart-shaped quesadillas out of the deal. Also, I was left with a lot of weird shaped extra quesadillas bits. What to do?  I know! I know! I will just cut them myself! *Insert emoticon of freaked out little dude with straight lips.* Worst Idea Ever.  Aftermath:

 All I can hear is that creepy "RI RI RI" music from the movie Psycho.

And if you not convinced of my heart-shaped FAIL here is a nice side-by-side comparison of what a heart should look like and what my hearts looked like:

So in conclusion-Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Don't have nightmares about my creepy Tim Burton movie inspired hearts. People ate them I swear.

Side Note- I have discovered and started stealing craft ideas from Pinterest. Pinterest is my new obesession. I don't go on the site unless i have at least 2 hours to kill.

Isn't it cute and happy?!? It is an olive oil bottle that I wrote the word JOY with hot glue and then spray painted white. LOVE IT. For realz.

Turkey Day

I know it is totally niave of me to think (perhaps even totally ridiculous!) that you have all been waiting and waiting for a new post from me. I am like the boy that hasn't called you back since......hmmm...haven't posted since September. It would appear that I am just not that into you.

But appearance are deceiving internet! I have been thinking about you alot! So today I said, "Dear Life, I don't care how you are busy with other things. I am going to write a blog on my lunch break whether you like it or not. Love, ME."

So, Thanksgiving.

My story begins about 2 weeks ago. When I realized, "Hey, I am cooking my very first Thanksgiving all by myself for like 6 whole people this year. I should probably get on buying a turkey." Translation: Husband, go pick out a turkey while I shop for other fun things because I am avoiding the fact that I HAVE TO COOK THANKSGIVING DINNER THIS YEAR. Result: 21lbs turkey, curtosey my husband's ability to shop with his eyes and stomach only. GIANT.

Fast forward to the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Oh hey, big giant turkey. I should probably start thawing you out now because you are ONLY 21lbs and I probably should have started a week ago.

Fast forward to Tuesday morning. Oh hey, big giant turkey. WHY ARE YOU DEFROSTED ALREADY? ISN'T THAT SUPPOSED TO TAKE FOREVER! Oh yea, and thanks for the turkey blood all over my fridge. Lucky for you I didn't have anything important on that shelf. I will get you back...just wait until THURSDAY.



So Thanksgiving finally roles around. I have been terrified all week mind you. Conjuring up plan B, C, and D because the turkey defrosted too early and therefore DINNER WAS RUINED.

But thanks it large part to Mrs. AMAZING MEYERS dinner went off without a hitch. Better than that....it was delightful, moist, carby dinner yummyness. And Mrs. AMAZING MEYERS did pretty much everything. Turkey - delicious thanks to her stuffing knowledge. Cannied yams - amazing thanks to her knowledge of ol' family recipes (BUTTER). Cranberry Sauce-unreal thanks to her knowledge of knowing how to make freakin cranberry sauce. From SCRATCH (that means our cranberry sauce did NOT look like the can it came out of! Cause it didn't come out of a can!). I am all kinds of jealous of her knowledge, but greatful I did not have to resort to plan B, C or D (Hello Boston Market? Is it too late to order a whole dinner 3pm on Thanksgiving day?).

                                                   

But! I did accomplish something myself!

It is called Turtle Pumpkin Pie. Aka cheaters pumpkin pie because there is no baking involved!

All you need:

Pre-made graham cracker crust

Vanilla instant jello pudding

Pre-made pumpkin puree

CARMAL SAUCE....nom nom nom

A little of this and a little of that (cause a gourmet chef NEVER gives away her secrets ...hehe)

and INSTANT PIE

So all in all : Thanksgiving just got OWNED. Housewife adventures style.