Crock pot Craziness

Here's the thing : I don't know things. By things I mean basic kitcheny, crafty, martha stewarty, foody, "things I learned from my mama" knowledge is not my strength. I attempt much, fail often and have the occasional domestic freak out.

Exhibit A-Lester, the WHOLE CHICKEN crock pot dinner for tomorrow

First, I named him because while I was cleaning him in the sink it was like holding a pound o' child. So, he deserved a name.

Challenge number 1-Onions!

Freakin onions. I don't know how to cut and/or chop onions. Like at all. Tonight, my recipe called for one chopped onion. Normal is knowing this task has to be done with care, because onions will cause a few tears. One chopped onion for me meant-one chopped onion and 4 "OMG(osh) my eyes are going to burn out of my face!" sessions. I don't think this is normal.

Challenge number 2 (and unfortunately, this happens ALL.THE.TIME.)-it's not in the recipe...what do I do!

Occasionally, I like to think I am domesticated enough to wander from the recipe (*gasp*). However, whenever I do this the natural result is to have at least one mini freak out because I don't actually know what I am doing! The recipe tonight was a basic chicken spice rub. I also happen to have a ton of left over carrots from a Costco size veggie tray I bought for a bbq of 4 whole people....yea...i know.... Anyway, my brilliant idea was to use massive amounts of left over carrots in said Lester dish. Thus, my resulting mini freak out: I don't know if these carrots are going to last the 8-10 hours of straight up roasting. Do I leave the carrots in trusting they will turn out similar to yummy roast-ish carrots? What if they melt into mushy gushy grossness? What if they ruin my dinner!? AAHHHH.

Here's to adventuring!